Have you ever felt like you belong to more than one culture? Join Pooja, Joshua, Dalal and James as they navigate the countless questions, doubts and joys that come along with the third culture experience!--
Intro Music Credits: composed by Pooja Maniyeri and Joshua Thomas
Editing Credits: Amaan Shad
https://www.instagram.com/teawithgenz_/
https://www.instagram.com/aus_osa/
Speaker1: [00:00:00] Hey, guys, we recently had an Instagram giveaway, a five hundred homes. If you want a chance to participate in other giveaways or to be featured on one of our episodes, make sure to follow us on Instagram at TeawithGenZ underscore to stay updated. Hey, everyone, and welcome to another episode of at TeawithGenZ, the podcast, where we discuss the latest topics by you and for you, I'm your host, Dalal. Thank you so much for joining us today. We'll be talking about what it means to be a citizen of nowhere and everywhere, which is also known as being a third culture kid. Joining me, we have James Pooja and Joshua. Hey guys, how's around doing?
Speaker2: [00:00:39] Hey, guys. Well, what about you?
Speaker3: [00:00:42] You guys are doing great. How's life, everyone?
Speaker4: [00:00:45] Hey, guys, super pumped to talk about this topic today.
Speaker1: [00:00:48] All right. So the question of the day to day is where were you born and where were you raised?
Speaker2: [00:00:55] For me, the answer to that is both the same. I was born and raised here in Georgia.
Speaker1: [00:01:02] Oh, I didn't know that. What about you, Pooja?
Speaker3: [00:01:04] For me, yeah, I was born in India and when I was nine months tiny, I was brought to you. So been here for 20 years.
Speaker4: [00:01:13] Nice. I was born in Sri Lanka and we came here when I was three. Yeah, from three to now I've been raised in Dubai.
Speaker1: [00:01:23] Ok, so out of all of you, I have the weirdest combination. I was born in Saudi Arabia and I was raised in Dubai and Qatar and then back to Dubai. Amazing. And the funniest part is I'm from none of these places music. I'm from Jordan, so I don't know why. My parents, actually my parents, lived in Saudi at the time, but still we do.
Speaker2: [00:01:48] So what culture do you like? Associate yourself with the most?
Speaker1: [00:01:52] Oh, that's a very stressful question. I honestly don't know. I genuinely don't know how to answer that question because I feel like because I grew up in the Gulf and the Gulf is very different than Levant culture, which is my parents' culture. I can't fully say that I identify with my parents' culture, but I also don't identify with Gulf culture. I'm just kind of like in between them. It's really weird.
Speaker3: [00:02:18] I think, what culture do you associate with? It's like such a common question for us, but culture kids. And it's so hard to answer that because for me, also like I associate with the buy, more Indian culture is also like super different. So it's sort of like an in-between space.
Speaker2: [00:02:36] Yeah, Pooja, literally, when anybody comes up to me to ask, like, Hey, James, where are you from? Like, I know this. I always explain myself. I go like, Yeah, I'm from the Philippines. But I was born and raised here in the UAE, and I feel like that's like such a long winded answer to like a question. But it needs to be said because if you just say one place, it doesn't really give enough context. I think you're right. Like us third culture kids, we experience this a lot and we can all relate to that.
Speaker3: [00:03:05] Yeah, for people, for some people, it's like a one word answer, and for us, it's like a whole 500 word essay explaining our origin.
Speaker1: [00:03:14] Joshua's being awfully quiet. Is everything OK? Josh?
Speaker4: [00:03:19] Yeah, it's just that I can relate a lot to what's being said here because I mean, I don't associate with UAE culture where I've been brought up, I don't associate with Sri Lankan culture where my parents grew up and where my ancestors are from. I I've been brought up among Indians and Pakistanis and a lot of diverse cultures, and it's just weird for me, honestly.
Speaker1: [00:03:48] But do you fully understand what it means to be a third culture kid? Because to me, it sounds like you are a third culture kid, but you just don't know it.
Speaker4: [00:03:55] Yeah, I'm kind of confused and what a third culture actually is.
Speaker2: [00:04:00] I go, wait, so, Joshua, for you and all of the listeners right now who's not quite sure what a third called cricket is, the simplest definition is you were raised in a culture that's different than your parents, like my parents are from the Philippines. But the culture that I was brought up in is kind of like a hodgepodge of different cultures. Partly because I was brought up here in the UAE, where I was exposed to a lot of different people. Yeah. So I honestly think that you can relate to that whole street kid thing.
Speaker4: [00:04:33] Yeah. Now that I know the definition, I can definitely relate to that.
Speaker1: [00:04:36] But I feel like nowadays being a third culture kid is way more normalized than it was before because of how the world is shifting and how we're moving towards a more globalized, stateless kind of world. But most people who are expats that live here in the UAE can definitely relate to this. It then comes back to the annoying question of What culture do I associate with and where are you from? It's that question really necessary nowadays.
Speaker3: [00:05:05] I think for like, like you said, it is being more normalized, but I feel like that's still like in UAE, like in UAE, it is normalized because we're spending so much time with people from a lot of different cultures. But I feel like back home and it's still looked upon very differently, especially when you go back. It's like they always ask you that question which culture do you associate with? And also, like, do you like India or Dubai more? And for me, it's it's Dubai, and it's always been the vibe because that's where I grew up. That's where I was raised. And like India, I only go to one month a year. So it is obviously Dubai, but they don't understand that. And I feel some of them have this expectation that since it's your mother country, you have to be more attached to India than to Dubai, which is just not possible.
Speaker2: [00:05:55] Pooja, I want to ask a question like when you say that you like or preferred to buy more. Is that because of the people here, like your friends, your family? Or is it like just the country? Like, I'm kind of confused.
Speaker3: [00:06:09] So for me, I think it is the country because like, of course, a lot of my friends are here, but I also have like my cousins, my family back home. But regardless of that, I'd rather still prefer Dubai because I like city life, bright lights, you know, lots of noise, so much going on, and it's just a very different way of life over here. The malls, the cafes, the restaurants, it's something you won't get back home and something I'm used to over there. It's more of like nature.
Speaker2: [00:06:39] But here's the interesting thing. You know, like throughout this conversation, you referred to India as back home, even though technically it sounds like Dubai is your home as well. Do you think that plays into the whole third culture kid where you're not really sure where you associate with
Speaker3: [00:06:58] Exactly like back home is just like a phrase now? You know, it's it's something that my parents use. I just automatically use it. But if you actually ask what my home is, it's it's Dubai.
Speaker1: [00:07:11] But these annoying questions and this kind of feeling that you don't belong, oddly enough, is more common for me when I'm outside of the UAE. Like, I feel more home when I'm here in the UAE because I'm accepted as a third culture kid. But there's so much negativity towards being a third culture kid back in Jordan for me, not just by my, my family, but by random people on the street, by shop sellers, by taxi drivers. There's always this kind of like negative bubble that I feel surrounds me or something is written on my forehead that automatically exposes me.
Speaker3: [00:07:49] It's the same for me, actually, because even when you go back, like go back to India, for me, it's so like you said, random people shop sellers, they automatically look at you as some sort of like Ray, like they know that they can charge more for you. Like when they look at you, they can see, Oh my God, she's not from here. So we can trick her into something like buying, buying a product and a more expensive rate and stuff like that, even with relatives. They think that we're showing attitude when we talk about being outside the country, or they have so much weird questions that they tend to ask like, you know, one relative of mine asked a pizza for lunch every day. I'm like, No,
Speaker1: [00:08:29] I wish
Speaker3: [00:08:31] It was exactly the same as the Indian food that we eat there, but they just feel like we're so much more fancier than the lifestyle
Speaker2: [00:08:38] Back there. I completely relate to what you're saying because literally weird questions. I feel like it's a staple to third culture kids. Like literally when I go to the Philippines or whether I'm here in the UAE, I get weird questions from both sides about the other. It's like I've gotten some questions here where like, Oh, do they even have air conditioners or like refrigerators in the Philippines? I'm like, Yeah, obviously. And like, when I'm there, they're like, Is it just all sand in Dubai? I'm like, No. But like these kind of weird questions, I feel like it just stems from kind of I don't want to say ignorance, but like just not exposed to the other culture. And I feel like in a lot of ways, we are that bridge as well, connecting two cultures.
Speaker1: [00:09:24] I wouldn't say it's ignorance. I'd say it's more of curiosity because for some reason, the way that people perceive somewhere you're not raised in, like for my cousins, for example, they perceive the UAE as some sort of utopia. It's like some fantasy land that is unattainable to them, which is kind of true. Like, the UAE is an amazing place and it is the closest thing to fantasy land that you can get to right now. But it's still a real place. There's still people there, still everyday things, and it's just normal like it's our normal. But to them, it's so crazy to think that these things exist.
Speaker2: [00:10:04] Yeah, again, I think it's really a lack of exposure, like if they see it, you know, it becomes standard, it becomes normal, but it's just because they haven't had experience in this place that it seems so foreign.
Speaker1: [00:10:16] Going back to the weird questions or the negative stereotypes that occur when your third culture kid, one of the weirdest and most annoying things that I always get pestered by for some reason has to do with the weather. So us in the UAE, we're used to really, really hot climates. If it's 20 degrees, we're wearing mittens, gloves and a scarf like it's cold. But for me here in Jordan, it's the opposite. It's usually very cold at night. In summer, it can get up to 16 degrees, 20 degrees, so it's pretty cold. But for some reason, it's shameful. If you feel cold, if I wear a jacket or if I express like a shiver, a slight shiver, everyone automatically is like, Yeah, of course you're cold because you don't know what it's like to live here. Oh, you're back in the UAE. Oh my god, you're so like, Oh my God, why are you cold? You know what I mean? Why is it a bad thing to be cold? It's just the weather. Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it? It's so annoying. It makes me so mad. I refuse to wear a jacket around some family members because I don't want to show that I'm cold because then I get a big lecture.
Speaker2: [00:11:22] Yeah, I feel like the things that people comment on are very trivial. If you think about it, it's just small differences, you know, like even in the way that you pronounce words or in kind of your activities, like just small differences people critique you for because it's different.
Speaker3: [00:11:39] Yeah, I think it is the trivial things, like even something as simple and as daily as language is so different back in India and in UAE. Like I, I'm comfortable. I'm more comfortable with English than with my mother tongue. So even if I go back to India, I tend to use like my mother tongue mixed with English, you know? And a lot of them, they take it as we're trying to sound foreign or I'm trying to show a lot of attitude and it's not the case. I'm just more comfortable with English. And for me, like if I want to say something really quick, I can go quick in English. But in Malayalam, I have to like, translate in my head and then put it out, especially exactly especially when I'm angry. It's so hard. So it just comes out in English and the like. Are you chewing so much attitude, which is not true? It's just my way of speaking.
Speaker1: [00:12:30] In my opinion, being bilingual is something that you should be very proud of and something that you should show off in a way because it's such a cool thing. And when people talk negatively about a foreign accent, it just makes you want to shut down and not speak the language, just avoid criticism. And I know so many people that do that. So many people refuse to speak Arabic when they go back just so they wouldn't hear annoying comments from people saying that, Oh, you can't speak Arabic. Oh, blah blah blah.
Speaker4: [00:12:59] Yeah, I mean, I get that a lot as well when I hang around my mom's Sri Lankan friends, they're like, You can't speak Sinhalese, right? How are you, Sri Lankan and stuff? Because I can't speak Sinhalese fluently at all. I know how to speak Hindi better than I can speak Sinhalese and everyone around me. Just ask me, How are you Sri Lankan? If you don't language, how do you communicate with people back home and stuff like that? So it's a very it does disturb you. Sometimes the people base your patriotism on the ability to speak the language and stuff, which is very weird for me.
Speaker2: [00:13:38] Yeah, I think there's like some sort of almost shaming that goes into it as well because I know what you're talking about, like when I go back to the Philippines, I try my best to speak the language just so that I don't stand out too much. But obviously, like what you guys have mentioned, there's a bit of like this accent that. Happens naturally, it's not like you control it, it's not like you make it sound fancier. It's just natural exposes you.
Speaker1: [00:14:05] It really exposes you.
Speaker2: [00:14:06] Exactly. And the thing is, I've heard comments as well as such as like, Are you ashamed if your language like, aren't you patriotic enough? Like, why can't you just say normally and these kind of things? Obviously, these aren't things that you think about on the daily, but they do stink because just because you can't speak, it perfectly doesn't mean that you're not proud of your culture or that you're ashamed of it. And I feel like that goes into the whole nationalism and patriotism thing as being super rigid, sometimes where people have an exact list of things that you need to check off in order to be considered from that place.
Speaker1: [00:14:47] Does anyone here know when their independent National Day of their home country is what the date is without Googling it, Josh? Yeah, yeah. What is the date? Joshua and James don't even bother answering it, because I know that you both googled the answers. Yes, you did. I mean, I didn't Google it. I just tapped on my keyword really, really fast. So nobody would see and then just pressed search. I didn't
Speaker4: [00:15:12] Google mine. I know. I know what my one is,
Speaker1: [00:15:16] But what I'm trying to say is, even if you don't, even if you don't know it, it's not a bad thing. It's not something to be ashamed with. It's just a day to celebrate, you know, it's not like something that's going to define your identity.
Speaker2: [00:15:29] Yeah, honestly, the thought that goes back to what I said a few seconds ago, like the standard of like what patriotism nationalism is, it's so rigid. Like, is it just a checklist thing like, you know, do you need to know the date? Do you need to know the language? Do you need to know this and that? Like, really, that's not what patriotism is about. So I think you're spot on and talking about that.
Speaker1: [00:15:52] It's like some kind of citizenship test that you have to complete every now and then to ensure that you deserve to be a citizen of your home country, which is crazy.
Speaker3: [00:16:02] The twenty six January is our Republic Day, and that's the Republic Day parade, and especially since we were in Indian school. All of us would like gather together and watch it, and we'll feel like so much patriotism just building inside of us. And I think that was really cool because even though we were in the UAE, we had like that community and the connection to the Indian know for the Indian background in Indian history.
Speaker1: [00:16:25] So yeah, that's something that's so cool, by the way. But I didn't have that experience, but that's something really common in the U. S. that most expats that come here prefer to put their children in schools of a specific country that relates their back home. So like, there's a lot of Indian schools, there's a lot of Pakistani schools, there's a lot of Iranian schools and there's, of course, a lot of Arabic schools to the parents. Just choose to put their children in so they can be immersed in the culture. And the UAE definitely has a lot of opportunities for us to immerse ourselves in our own cultures. It's a place that we celebrate every culture and it's really cool, especially in AUC is an AUC student. There's so many things that AUC does for us that help us feel like we belong back home and belong here in the UAE. So there's a lot of cultural clubs that you can join. Not only can you join your own culture club and meet people who are from the same cultural background as you, but you can immerse yourself in different countries and learn about their own traditions and experiences. And there's a day that AUC has, which is a global day. It's unfortunately something that I have not experienced yet, and I don't think anyone here has because we went online two weeks before globally.
Speaker3: [00:17:41] Exactly. That was like heartbreaking
Speaker1: [00:17:43] Global days, a nice celebration of every culture. And it just is a it's a way of showing everyone that you are welcome here and you are appreciated and celebrated and you are safe.
Speaker3: [00:17:56] Yeah, I've seen YouTube videos of Global Day and it was and I think UAE is rightfully called the melting pot of cultures because it is so diverse and the hype when we celebrate each other's culture is something so dear to my heart. It's something something just great. It just touches your heart.
Speaker2: [00:18:14] The law, then I think you guys are absolutely right at AUC. You can really feel the diversity and the multiculturalism, but I feel like even stepping outside on a global scale, you can really see how we're shifting to a more globalized world where. Sometimes it's almost not as vital to know where you're from. And it becomes more about your shared experiences with others. And I feel like that's one of the benefits to us as third culture kids where we can be proud about our different cultures. I can be proud of growing up here in the UAE, but at the same time, I can also be equally proud about my Filipino background. And I think that's a special thing where it's not just one or the other. And it's not just like you're with us or you're against. And I think that's the beauty to third culture, kids.
Speaker3: [00:19:07] Exactly, I think we get the best of both worlds where I can, I can go to India anytime I want, and it'd be a great thing we can have like as much Indian food as I want and I can come back here and also be exposed to, like so many different cultures and so many perspectives of thinking that I wouldn't have experience if I was in a third culture kid.
Speaker1: [00:19:28] With that being said, that brings us to the end of our episode for today. I hope you guys enjoyed listening. Thank you guys so much for sharing your stories with us. It was really nice to learn a little bit more about your cultural background and what it really means to be a third culture kid. I hope you guys enjoyed the episode, and yeah, make sure to follow us on Instagram at with Gen-Z underscore to stay updated. Keep sipping tea with Gen-Z and we'll see you guys later. Thank you so much for joining. Bye bye!