We've all heard of the term "body positivity" but what does it really mean? In this episode, Joshua, James, Vini and Dalal discuss what it means to truly be positive about our bodies and appearances- accepting ourselves for who we are!
Intro Music Credits: composed by Pooja Maniyeri and Joshua Thomas
Editing Credits: Amaan Shad
Get in touch!
Speaker1: Hey, guys, just a quick disclaimer. We will discuss some sensitive topics which some may find triggering. So if this is not the type of content that you usually enjoy, feel free to click away and tune in for our regularly scheduled content. Don't forget, counseling services are available five days a week on campus, and they provide confidential and free sessions. You can contact them at zero six five one five one two one zero zero.
Speaker2: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to yet another episode of Tea with Gen-Z, the podcast where we discuss the latest topics by you and for you, I'm your host, James, and I'm super thrilled for today. Joining me are my wonderful co-host, Joshua Dalal and Vinny. Hey, guys. Hi. Hey. I. So today we're going to be talking about body positivity.
Speaker1: James, as you said that, I noticed that I've been staring at myself nonstop in the Zoom reflection.
Speaker2: Oh, that's funny because I do that a lot too, and not just on Zoom, but like mirrors in general. Do you guys do that like you walk by a mirror and you have to check yourself out?
Speaker3: Yeah, I do it all the time, I'm always concerned about my hair because it's really long and it's always messy. So every time I walk past like a mirror or reflecting surface, I try to look if everything is fine.
Speaker2: What about you, Josh?
Speaker4: You guys do that a lot. Like, I don't find myself doing it that much. Like, I don't care about how I look when I pass by a mirror or something, really?
Speaker1: How can you not? How can you not? I always check front camera selfie anything. Mirrors doors when I'm walking by shops just constantly. Always looking at myself.
Speaker4: And I just I just guess some very body positive, Joshua.
Speaker1: How would you define body positivity, though? You say your body positive, but what is your definition of it?
Speaker4: Suv body positivity is just acceptance of all types of bodies, regardless of shape, size, gender, physical abilities, right? And regardless of what anyone says, just accepting your body for what it is.
Speaker3: Yeah, and I think it's also about challenging the current beauty standards and how much they're always changing,
Speaker2: Which it sounds like it's a really good thing. Why do you think body positivity isn't more normalized than
Speaker1: I think a lot of it starts with comparison to other people, to your friends, to your siblings, to celebrities. Even when you constantly find yourself comparing your body or your image to others, you subconsciously bring yourself down because you pick apart yourself and you wish you look like something you're not. I feel like. And that's human nature by nature we're supposed to, or we compare ourselves in many different ways. But it can become very harmful when it's a constant thing. And all you do is compare yourself just to bring yourself down.
Speaker3: Yeah, and I think this problem is exaggerated by the constant presence of media and our lives and how media over like it sets these beauty standards that are unachievable. And it also alters a lot of things like what you see on social media, the beauty standards that you see, they see there. We know it's not real, but we still cannot stop ourselves from wanting to be that way because we constantly click on our screens and we see it all the time. So that also just makes it a lot worse.
Speaker2: Yeah, I really agree with both Vinnie and Dellal. And, you know, a lot of people say that it's about comparing ourselves to others. But I do want to note that it's not just like the direct comparison. I'm not looking at somebody and pointing out, Oh, their eyes are prettier than mine, but it's the subconscious comparison. For example, if all you see in movies, all the lead stars look one type of way, you can't help but think subconsciously in order to be the lead of something you have to look that way to. And we see this everywhere, even on social media recently with Snapchat. There was a small controversy where there beautify filter essentially added Eurocentric features. They made your skin lighter. They had they narrowed down your nose. So these are subconscious. Beauty standards are saying, Look, this type of thing is better than others. And so it's not a direct comparison, but we can definitely feel that.
Speaker1: And I think what you brought up is very, very important, and it's not something that is only happening recently. Growing up, I remember, for example, when I wanted to go buy Barbie dolls or any sort of toy. Most of them would have very Eurocentric features. It would be very skinny. Slim have an hourglass figure. And I remember as a child, it did bother me a little bit that I couldn't find a doll that looked exactly like me and had similar features to me. And I would just sit there looking at a wall of dolls, trying to pick the one that looks the most similar to me. And I would always do it based on either hair color or skin color. And it still didn't look like me, and that bothered me a little bit. But now they are becoming more options and more combinations for dolls. They have different body types, different hair types, different abilities, and I think that's really cool. But even in cartoons, I remember whenever I would watch cartoon the lead or the hero would always be the girl who is the blond, blue eyed white girl with very slim body. And she would be the hero. And then any character who didn't look like her was the comic relief was the nerd was not like portrayed as the beautiful character, which is sad, and it subconsciously implements that image in your head that if you want to be the hero, if you want to be the main character, if you want to be pretty, you have to look like this person.
Speaker3: I agree. And just looking back at the history of media and shows it's taken so long to just have more diversity in shows and casting and have like acceptance of different body types on shows. Even when you look at a lot of mainstream shows that are popular today, like friends or How I met your mother and they're a little old, but the fat shaming and jokes in those shows just goes on to show the stigma around these topics, how they weren't really spoken about, and how high beauty standards have been held throughout the history of humans and media.
Speaker1: I remember watching Disney shows and back in the day when I got back in the day one of my 50, I remember watching these Disney shows and I the side characters were often like the fat friend. Let's say looking back at it now. People weren't even fat. Like, I remember going as a child and thinking, Yeah, like, that's what fat looks like. And now when I see it, I'm like, How did I think that that was? How did this company convince me that this is what fat looks like? That was a very harmful? Because growing up, I was like, If I look like that, then I'm fat. Then I'm unaccepted in society and I'm not using fat as a derogatory term. I just don't know what else to say to describe it. But I also just want to add on that personally. Like when I'm talking about this, I'm focusing a lot on the female perspective because I am obviously a girl and this is my personal experience. But I'm not in any way saying that men don't experience body issues and issues with body positivity in general because it definitely is a problem in the media. And that's why Joshua and James are here to discuss their experiences with.
Speaker4: Yeah, and I mean, like, I've been fat from childhood, right, and I've got comments not only like I've seen people fat people in media and I've always thought that they represented the wrong way. And not only social media and stuff, but we can all stop by like friends, family, people around you when they make fun of you like to this day, people still ask me, Well, why aren't you losing weight? Why aren't you going to the gym? Why are you so fat? And it it, it does. It does hurt. It does bring up some like thought about, like why we're still mocking people who are overweight.
Speaker2: Joshua doesn't make a difference hearing the comments from, let's say, friends or family versus maybe complete strangers or people you don't know too well. Is there a difference in how you take in the comment?
Speaker4: It used to make a difference for me, like whenever I thought friends and family would say stuff, it used to hurt a little bit more. But right now I've just learned that my body is my body. This is going to be my. This is me. This is who I am. And yeah, I'm not going to change for anyone. I'm not going to change no matter what anyone, says Joshua.
Speaker1: I think what you touched on there hit home for me because a lot of the issues that I have with myself are due to comments that people say, and it becomes very harmful when it's a constant thing. And for me, growing up, I was always the person that someone would comment on, like from my family, from my friends, people who always feel they need to comment on my body, either at one stage where I was too skinny at one time, I wasn't too fat. Like whatever I was wasn't enough for them, but not even just that, but random strangers as well. I remember a story happening to me recently, not that reason, but a while ago where I was with a friend and we went to order food at a fast food joint and we ordered and then the cashier looked at us and she's like, How are you eating that much? But you're still skinny? And I just my jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say because I felt so guilty. And for me, it's like I have a not so great relationship with food, and I hate when people comment on the things I eat. So for me, I felt very guilty after she said that because I was like, Oh my God, like, am I not supposed to be eating this much? Is it bad that I'm hungry? It's about that. I want to eat this much. And it was just like a moment of panic that I had. And it's a constant thing, and I feel like people need to realize that it's none of your business, what people eat, it's none of your business, how people look. So don't comment on it. Please don't comment on it. Uninvited.
Speaker2: The law, I want to add something to that because I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of the times when people make comments about ourselves, they're often just projecting their own insecurities. I don't want to kind of put words into anyone's mouth or maybe guess what happened in that situation, but I feel like a lot of times we think that we need to act some certain way that when we see other people not conform to that, we feel like it's our duty to tell them, Look, you need to do this or to do that. And I think this just shows how widespread or how continually perpetuated this sort of arbitrary beauty standards are in our culture that we even go to the point of correcting others.
Speaker1: James, I think it is definitely projecting, and I can say that in personal situations where I knew the person very well, it is projecting and there's only so much that you can take when someone constantly says these things about you and makes you feel bad about the things you eat, the clothes you wear, the way you present yourself, it's harmful. And it did have a very bad effect on me and the relationship I have with food, like I mentioned earlier. So, yeah, it is projecting for sure.
Speaker3: So the lull, I actually feel very strongly for your experiences and what you went through because I also went through something very similar since I was a young kid, I've been really, really skinny and I was just born underweight as well. So I have been underweight my entire life, and a lot of times people made fun of that. And, you know, they just casually pass comments on how I would eat as well. They would go like, you eat too much, but you never gain weight. You are lucky. And they saw it as a privilege. But it's also. It's also difficult to gain weight, so it was not always something healthy. I didn't I definitely didn't see it as a privilege, and sometimes people would say things like, Oh, you just go away with the wind or, you know, if someone doesn't even have to touch you to make you fall and those are all very insensitive comments. I don't know if they were projections like that or not, but it definitely affected the way I looked at myself, the way I looked at food and how I ate. So, yeah, these kinds of things are just, you know, to normalize these kinds of comments, not only from young people and my friends, but even from adults that look at me for the first time. They're just like, You're so thin, like why you get thinner every time I look at you. But it's not exactly a compliment.
Speaker2: Hearing all these stories, it's just really frustrating because I'm struggling to understand what's the beauty standard that you want everyone to follow. I feel like people sometimes aren't accepting of differences in people. Not everyone has to look the same. And you know, I'm wondering, what's this beauty standard that everyone wants you to fit in, especially since these are so arbitrary and you know, these are so subjective, they differ from one person to another. And even over time, like we've seen, quote unquote, beauty standards change, it's very fluid. So right now you could be. Again, quote unquote unconventionally attractive. But then back then, it could be a different story.
Speaker1: So I actually experienced that firsthand. Growing up, I had I mean, not growing up, I still look the same, but since I was young, my family and friends would always comment that I had very full lips. They were very big and I would get comments like it's not really that harmful. I guess it's not like bullying, but I would get comments like, Oh, you would finish one like lipstick on your bottom lip. Only to that extent, people would make fun of me for it. And growing up, it really bothered me as a child when I was like from ages six to 10, and I had very thin brows as well. And my sister had the opposite. She had very thin lips and thick eyebrows, and everyone was like loving her lips and hating her brows and then suddenly. In the early 2010s, when the Kardashians became a thing and the Kylie Jenner, Kylie Jenner and the Kylie and Kylie lip challenge became a viral, everyone suddenly wanted my lips. I would get so many compliments. I would be like, Oh my God, your lips are so nice I would kill for them. I would do like injections to look like that, and I was just like, so confused because I was like, What do you mean? Two years ago, everyone was making fun of my lips and saying that I had really nice eyebrows, and then I was the other way around. Now everyone's making fun of my eyebrows and everyone's complimenting my lips. So it's like, Can I ever win? Can I ever win? No, clearly not.
Speaker3: Bilal, I think your experience is a perfect example of how fast beauty standards are changing and what's ironic is this is not something that just that has been happening just for the last few decades, but it's been happening for a long, long time. And it really makes me think why people aren't just white people still give so much importance to beauty standards after knowing all of this. I took I'm taking health psychology right now, and we learned about beauty standards and how quickly they changed in the mid-nineties. There was this actress called Marilyn Monroe, who was the ideal or, you know, the person that everyone looked up to the most beautiful person and she was a size 15, size 14 and less than a decade later. The beauty standards and beauty ideals change to another actress called Twiggy, who is literally size zero. So in a decade in like 10 to 15 years, the size standards change from 15 to size zero, which is it's impossible to live up to. No one can actually change their body type that much, but it's like people still glorified it so much and it's still happening in like the modern generation on social media. Even today, everything is changing very quickly, so it's just unrealistic.
Speaker2: I feel like when we start treating our bodies as like fashion trends where we need to hop on into the next thing that becomes very dangerous. We can't just drastically alter ourselves the way that we look based on what's in and what's kind of yesterday's style. You know, this isn't something that we can do. And you know, the way that you guys are talking about the changes in beauty standards just show how subjective it is, right? Like, it has no sense. How can something be, you know, quote unquote ugly one day and then beautiful the next? That just shows that what you have right now is great regardless of what. The beauty standard is at the time.
Speaker1: I think another issue that comes with it is people often associate bodies with health like the way you look versus your health. So some people always assume that people on the slimmer side are more healthy than people who are not as slim. And sometimes that is true, of course, but I think that it's important that we distinguish between the way you look and your health because someone who is very slim could also be very unhealthy. Their eating habits could be bad. They could have other health issues. So once we stop associating these two together, then we can become more accepting of different types of bodies and realize that the way you look doesn't define you as a person. And it's just everyone is beautiful simply. I think it's very important to. Be aware of these things, and if you see your friends struggling. Reach out, but not in a way that is going to bring them down or shame them. Be a lifeline. Be supportive. And your friends will thank you.
Speaker4: I think that's just the key. Just find your own way to be more positive, accept yourself for who you are. Find friends that will help you. That will help build you up. That won't bring you down. I won't say things that will hurt you or they'll make you overthink, right? Don't don't conform to what's on social media. Don't look at everything and compare yourself all the time.
Speaker2: I love the advice that you guys are giving, and I think they're super useful. Another thing that I do want to highlight is that I feel that majority of times it's easier to just focus on the negatives to nitpick what we think should be better to point out our flaws and say, Oh, this needs to be fixed. But what if we have the opposite mindset? What if instead of highlighting or floss, we highlight our strengths, the things that we're proud of? Once we shift our mentality to focus on the good things, we amplify what we see. You know, we can start out by just loving the way our hair looks this day. And then that sort of positivity brings out this sort of gratitude for self. And then we start to see our whole self as beautiful because we are.
Speaker4: Yeah, and don't don't try to change yourself just because other people want you to change, right, find people who accept you for who you are at the end of the day.
Speaker1: I think people really underestimate the power of a compliment as well because we're so used to the way we look on our faces that sometimes we forget how beautiful we can look to someone who has just met us, to a stranger. So if you think someone looks beautiful, you think they have a very nice feature, compliment them. It will make their day and they will not stop thinking about it. I know that's something that I experience. Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I'm on cloud nine. I'm very happy and so grateful, and it makes me feel very good. So give more compliments, but you look so pretty today. Thank you, Joshua. You're looking great as well.
Speaker4: Thank you.
Speaker3: I I completely agree with the complimenting part, and I love that idea. In fact, barely a few weeks ago, I started doing this thing where I give one random compliment to someone in a day at least, and it makes you feel good as well because you know you've made someone feel good, even if it's just momentarily. And sometimes it's for a long time, like when people compliment me. I do remember that for the whole day or it makes my day. So it's powerful in the sense that it doesn't just change the person's day who you complimented, but it also makes you feel more good about yourself.
Speaker2: Guys, I loved everything that we talked about today. I think there's so many great points that we can all take away. And you know, at the end of the day, we're not really trying to please everybody. We just need to be content with ourselves and happy with the way that we look. And if you ever do need help with your body image, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family or even trained professionals. Or send us a DM at RT with Gen Z underscore
Speaker1: We reply to every single DM and it's a safe space. We are here to help you if you need it.
Speaker2: And that wraps our episode for today. Thank you for joining us. Keep sipping tea with Gen Z. We'll see you in the next one. See you guys.
Speaker1: See you later, alligator.